Sometimes i feel lost in my own life. I don’t know why. Maybe i can’t deal with all of the parts in my life. For example it is really difficult for me to calm down, to relax, to think about me. That sounds stupid, but most of the time i think about my boyfriends problems, my family, my friends. Or i think about my work. I try to help all of them and i try to make everybody feel comfortable.
And because of that, i forget myself. That is stupid. I am the person i live my whole life with. I am the person i have to endure. I need to be fine with myself before i can help other people. When i am sick and on the ground (mentally or physically) i should care about myself first. And i think that is the reason why i feel lost in my life.
What can i do to make myself the center of my own life? That i don’t try to solve other peoples problems? I read a book from Lars Amend „Why not?“. It is about life and how i can feel better and healthier in it, how i manage bad thoughts and bad days, how i am the center of my life. The book helped my a bit to start.
First i asked me what do i want. Is that really the life i want? Am i doing the things i like? The people who are in my life, do i want them all in my life? And the answer was: yes. That makes me feel very happy. Second thing i thought about my behaviour. I travel a lot between my boyfriend (i live with him part time) and my family, my friends. Sometimes it is too much for me. I need to find the balance between it. Finally i found out i’m carrying around other people’s problems too much and it’s getting harder and harder to cope with it. I have to learn to deal with it better.
When i had bad thoughts about my life i began to treat these thoughts like a little child. That help sometimes. Not letting my thoughts drag me down anymore is good for me. For example: „Ah, you’re the i-am-not-happy-thought. Okay, noo don’t touch this. Stay in your place. Yeah, exactly there. Oh, why you’re so dirty? Uaa, and now my whole floor is covered with mud. Do you know that? Go in your room and don’t come back since you clear the house. Thank you!“
Reflecting is a very good technique to realize that only your bad thoughts are making your life harder. When you recognize your problems, you need to change it to make you feel happy and comfortable in your life. Don’t sink into them.
